Full Frontal Gaming


Before you start rolling your eyes, this isn’t a post about sexuality in games or how women should or shouldn’t be portrayed. This is simply about the plain old fact that most women have boobs. And, any size, shape or flavor, there are things to consider in game regarding these modifiers. They are actually very mobile, sensitive and malleable organs that will affect how your female acts or reacts in any given situation. And, being a female who owns a pair, I have considered the repercussions of having a character that also sports girls.

Now I’ll be brief and to the point with the sticking point. Breasts have weight. They swing, the bounce, when you lie down they take a little nap in your armpits. Running actually physically hurts if they aren’t supported.  Sitting a trot on a horse has the same result. Ouch.

Armor.  Now I could go long and hard into practical vs awesome looking armor but we’re all hoping to get on with the day at some time. So just a few things to consider: To protect properly, they have to be big enough to cover dem boobies. If they don’t, that’s cool. Just something extra to consider just like you have to consider fighting in a 4 foot high corridor is gonna be hard. While not quite as bad as a kick to the nuts, getting a direct blunt blow to the nipple causes the same doubled over, moaning pain.

Consider your weapon. If your character’s chest is large, swinging an ax is going to be tricky. Swords are great, but two handed weapons may limit your range/strength. If a female archer who rolls a NAT 1 should be required to have the bow string hits her in the boob. While not quite on the same level as a nutshot, a direct hit to the chest results in a similar doubled over, moaning position. It hurts. A LOT!

Consider other stats. If they’re tiny, chances are your CHA checks may be affected. A female with small breasts pads them to look bigger. She can survive one direct hit to the chest due to all the padding but loses one charisma point due to her secret being found out. A character with ridiculously large girls may not be taken seriously either by sexiest men or women who are self-conscious about themselves.

The alignment of the female character can almost always be exclusively advertised by her cup size. A
Lawful Good misses will have modest, unobtrusive AAs. True Neutrals usually sport a classic B. Chaotic Evils throw all common sense into the wind and can swing some DDs and up with the best of them. When dreaming up the design of your PC to think hard about how this factors into the moral fiber of your character.

Consider modifiers for neckwear. Consider cleavage and the repercussions of showing it. Please remember cleavage is not a natural phenomenon and actually requires support to happen. If you flaunt it, be prepared to face the consequences.

They are a fact of female life and should be enjoyed as a fascinating aspect of the game. With these (hopefully) helpful suggestions you should be well on your way to facing a brave new world of female enlightenment.


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