10 things Dungeons & Dragons taught me about animals

Anyone who’s ever played Dungeons & Dragons has encountered a vast horde of animals either yearning for companionship, being ridden from dungeon to dungeon or spoiling for a fight.  Here are ten life lessons I’ve learned about animals thanks to my time spent with D&D.

If you can’t ride on it or use it as a spy, you’re probably going to end up fighting with it.

fighting
If you append the word “Giant” in front of it, it becomes a highly dangerous animal.  Even a “Giant Sloth”, “Giant Squirrel” or “Giant Fluffy Bunny”.

giantsquirrel
If you take two mildly dangerous animals and somehow get them to mate, you’ll not win a nobel prize, but end up fighting it.  It’s easy with bears as they particularily like to mate outside of their species.  Bugbear, Owlbear, Ratbear, Fluffy Bunny Bear.

owlbear
Depending on your vocation, as soon as you reach a certain level of worldly experience,  an animal will pop and be lovingly devoted to you for life.  This animal could be a cat, bat, rat, raven, dog or wolf but will almost never be a diminutive frog.

familiar

I enjoy suspending for whole hours at a time my belief in reality to enjoy a good gaming session and keep it “real”. The Duckbunny just shatters this completely.

duckbunny

If you go about whacking rats, snakes and large bugs on the head with a stick, you’ll become proficient in any chosen profession, not just that of an exterminator.

weta
Hunting for, finding, killing, skinning and cooking your dinner is as easy as 1,2,3.  Or a roll of 12 or less on a d20.

realityofhunting
At least once a day, when walking through the woods with a group of heavily armored, clanking, jingling, singing, swearing friends I am likely to encounter randomly a hostile bear, pack of wolves, giant rat or some other nasty creature just spoiling for a fight.

whendeerattack
Through divine or magical acts, animals can acquire human levels of intelligence, desires and needs.

squirrelpirate
Losing your animal companion hurts.

harley

For Harley.  You were a hell of a cat.

[tags]rpg, role playing games, animals, dungeons & Dragons, D&D[/tags]

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