I have the unique position of being both the significant other who both didn’t play and now does. This provides an interesting point of view on
the touchy business of mixing two passions without neglecting the other. Please don’t take this as tried and true relationship advice but the following tips may help improve or enhance what you have.
The One-Gamer Couple
Being the one left behind, left out, ignored or confused by the acronyms and jargon is never something one wishes on one’s self. Your love is obsessed with mythical creatures, funny sided dice and having his/her friends over late into the night disrupting your sleep and/or those of the children. Books left everywhere and notes scribbled on napkins litter the place. While these people invade your space they ignore your pleas for attention and leave you frustrated and lonesome. Here are some ideas on how to cope.
1) It’s not about you: Think of a hobby you adore. Gamers have the same passion and often spend a lot of time thinking, doodling, planning and scheduling their games. When they don’t answer your every word during a game it’s because they’ve immersed themselves into a world of fun and adventure. Having to stop a game is abrupt and disruptive to the action. You wouldn’t want someone walking in front of a television while you were watching a favorite show. It’s very similar. If I have questions, a comment, or problem I’ll politely tap my sweetie on the shoulder, apologize for the interruption, and explain why I did. This is preferred to loudly announcing that they are ignoring you and are more into their silly game than you. Planning a game takes a lot of effort, time and scheduling. Don’t ruin it.
2) The mess: Face it. Tabletop RPGs involve lots of space. Table to play on; room to spread dice, books, notes, figures, maps, and snacks. Places to put everyone’s coats and bags. Clean the bathroom and kitchen. Make sure you agree on a designated spot for gaming and gaming supplies. It’s the gamer’s responsibility to keep materials contained within this spot or its fair game for cleanup. It’s easier to keep material out while working on it instead of having to put away every time, so allow this small bit of leeway.