Feb 082013
 
Reality Makes the Best Fantasy: Aphrodisiacs

Note: This article deals with things of a sexual nature. You have been warned. *cue Barry White* Aww yeah. You know what I’m talking about. Many substances are supposed to help get people ‘in the mood’, and when I say ‘in the mood’ I mean the mood to have sex. The pressures of life with its anxieties, the weariness one feels after a hard days work, the ingesting of a rather delicious but perhaps too large burrito…many of these can be dampeners of the mood […]

About Tristan J Tarwater

Tristan is the author of 'The Valley of Ten Crescents' series and someone who is obsessed with elves. She once gave her 3.5 elf druid 'Skill: Basketweaving' just so she could take the spell, 'Beget Bogun.' Check out more of her work at backthatelfup.com

Reality Makes the Best Fantasy: Substitutes

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Jan 252013
 
Reality Makes the Best Fantasy: Substitutes

(There is an ANNOUNCEMENT at the end so read through, homie.) My daughter is in kindergarten and has had a substitute teacher for most of the year. The teacher she was supposed to have is out of commission for health reasons and so the kind woman she met the first day of school was replaced a few weeks later by a substitute. That teacher had to leave after the holidays for personal reason so the children are on their third teacher until the teacher they […]

About Tristan J Tarwater

Tristan is the author of 'The Valley of Ten Crescents' series and someone who is obsessed with elves. She once gave her 3.5 elf druid 'Skill: Basketweaving' just so she could take the spell, 'Beget Bogun.' Check out more of her work at backthatelfup.com

Reality Makes the Best Fantasy: The Flu

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Jan 182013
 
Reality Makes the Best Fantasy: The Flu

Have you caught the flu this winter season? I’ve caught it twice so far. Each time it was different. The first one was typical of what I normally experience. Chills, headache, lethargy, fever, loss of appetite. I laid on the couch a lot and watched all of John Adams. All of it. Except for one part with the guy from Dark City because I drank Theraflu and passed out. The second time I caught it, different animal. Headache and tiredness, throat issues, which is terrible […]

About Tristan J Tarwater

Tristan is the author of 'The Valley of Ten Crescents' series and someone who is obsessed with elves. She once gave her 3.5 elf druid 'Skill: Basketweaving' just so she could take the spell, 'Beget Bogun.' Check out more of her work at backthatelfup.com

Jan 112013
 
Reality Makes the Best Fantasy: Perfume

Scent is a powerful thing. Have you ever approached your domicile and smelled the tantilizing aroma of your favourite food cooking? Inhaled the spicy, sweet fragrance of a rose? Buried your nose in the neck of a loved one? Opened something to discover the putrefied odor of something long dead? Walked outside just as summer rain hits hot pavement? Poured apple cider vinegar into a smoking hot pan? I’m sure many of you were able to evoke some kind of memory. The tongue can pick […]

About Tristan J Tarwater

Tristan is the author of 'The Valley of Ten Crescents' series and someone who is obsessed with elves. She once gave her 3.5 elf druid 'Skill: Basketweaving' just so she could take the spell, 'Beget Bogun.' Check out more of her work at backthatelfup.com

Reality Makes the Best Fantasy: THE END OF THE WORLD

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Jan 042013
 
Reality Makes the Best Fantasy: THE END OF THE WORLD

Now that the whole misreading of the Mayan Calendar for the making of memes and annoying tweets is over and done with, yes, this is what you all get. HAPPY NEW YEAR! When I was about 8 or 9 years old, I came across The Book of Revelation. I was wondering what the last book in the Bible was and egads. I was not expecting that. I don’t really know what my young brain was expecting but it was not that. A tale of strife, […]

About Tristan J Tarwater

Tristan is the author of 'The Valley of Ten Crescents' series and someone who is obsessed with elves. She once gave her 3.5 elf druid 'Skill: Basketweaving' just so she could take the spell, 'Beget Bogun.' Check out more of her work at backthatelfup.com

Reality Makes the Best Fantasy: New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day!

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Dec 142012
 
Reality Makes the Best Fantasy: New Year's Eve and New Year's Day!

Note: Because of the winter holidays, Reality Makes the Best Fantasy will be taking a break for the rest of 2012. We will return with even more reality for your fantasy January 4th, 2013. Hope you all have a great end to 2012! In addition, if you read Reality Makes the Best Fantasy and have any suggestions, favorite moments or want to see something covered, let me know in the comments or shoot me an email at trisj at backthatelfup dot com. Here’s to 2013 […]

About Tristan J Tarwater

Tristan is the author of 'The Valley of Ten Crescents' series and someone who is obsessed with elves. She once gave her 3.5 elf druid 'Skill: Basketweaving' just so she could take the spell, 'Beget Bogun.' Check out more of her work at backthatelfup.com

Reality Makes the Best Fantasy: St. Nick AND Krampus

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Dec 072012
 
Reality Makes the Best Fantasy: St. Nick AND Krampus

You know what the holiday season needs? More spankings. Enter KRAMPUS. Meant to complement Saint Nicholas in his liturgical robes and bearing gifts for good children, Krampus appears as a wild man. Covered in hair, sporting horns and equipped with a barrel, chains and whips, he and other figures like Knecht Ruprecht and Belsnickel dole out punishments for poorly behaved children.  His long tongue is meant to be terrifying and instead of offering sweets and gifts for children, he punishes bad children by whipping them, […]

About Tristan J Tarwater

Tristan is the author of 'The Valley of Ten Crescents' series and someone who is obsessed with elves. She once gave her 3.5 elf druid 'Skill: Basketweaving' just so she could take the spell, 'Beget Bogun.' Check out more of her work at backthatelfup.com

Reality Makes the Best Fantasy: Winter Holidays

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Nov 302012
 
Reality Makes the Best Fantasy: Winter Holidays

Everyone needs a pick me up in the winter. Regardless of whether your winter weather is terribly cold or just a bit chilly, there comes a day when the sun shines for the least amount of time, plunging us diurnal creatures into dark for most of the day. Meteorological differences aside, astronomically, we’re left in the dark. And sometimes that makes people sad. Enter Winter Holidays! Before those days grow bitterly cold or wet, many holidays, festivals and observances exist to draw people together, celebrate […]

About Tristan J Tarwater

Tristan is the author of 'The Valley of Ten Crescents' series and someone who is obsessed with elves. She once gave her 3.5 elf druid 'Skill: Basketweaving' just so she could take the spell, 'Beget Bogun.' Check out more of her work at backthatelfup.com