Jan 192011
 

I spend a decent amount of my time reading fantasy and horror novels.  I’ve often toyed with writing something a bit longer than a blog post, but I have a hard time pinning down enough time to do so.  I do occasionally get flashes of brilliance where ideas and titles are concerned.

These six titles, they are not my flashes of brilliance.  I decided to note down all of the awful titles and ideas I came up with during the course of a normal day.  These things just pop in to my head unannounced and occasionally unwanted.

Allergic to the Undead

She could be the saviour of the world, or she could be . . . allergic to the undead!

Her Majesty’s Chiropracter

All Zerm wanted was to open a simple chiropractic practice, but his life would never be normal again when Queen Rp’noiu demanded an adjustment!

This Sword Sucks!

Warrior, father, the man destined to overthrow empires, if only he could get something better than a +2 sword!

Elves are Manly too

Subin thought he had everything – power, magic, martial prowess.  Then one day he met Carl at a local pub and realized, despite all of his previous achievements, he would never grow a beard, like Carl.

It came from the IRS

Charles Bennett was a normal human being in every respect, until given a seemingly innocuous task by his employer, the IRS. After a tax audit on a bio genetics firm gone horribly wrong, Charles has become the IRSion! Fueled by revenge, Charles is out for death…and taxes!

Magic is for Losers

Anya is the school bully, and a perfectly normal person.  She’s not going to let some smug, stick waving, magic using pre-teens ruin her fun! They may have wands, but they still cry uncle when you twist some arms.

If any of you publicists or publisher types out there would like to contact me about a book deal, here’s how to do so.

[tags]books, titles, fantasy, horror, oh the humanity[/tags]

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About Ben

I'm a geek. A nerd, a dweeb, whatever. Yes I owned garb, yes I still own medieval weaponry. And yeah, I could kick your butt in Mechwarrior the CCG. I love video games, role playing games, tactical board games and all forms of speculative fiction. I will never berate someone for wanting to be a Jedi and take everything Gary Gygax ever wrote as gospel. Well, all of this but that last bit.

  2 Responses to “Failed fantasy and horror novel titles and the blurbs that love them”

  1. These ideas were probably caused by a tumor. You should get checked.

  2. It’s not a tumah!

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