Troll in the Corner

1. Shouting “This is MY world bitches!” at your players is not acceptable.  Particularly  when one of your players is also your wife.
2. If you challenge your PCs to break your world, you will have a broken world.
3. In a world populated only by Gnomes, tall grass is a real problem.
4. Substituting sound effects for descriptive text just isn’t going to work, no matter how  much I think I sound like a Yeti crashing through a forest.
5. Giving key NPCs unpronounceable names is only making life harder on yourself.
6. All barkeeps speak with a Scottish accent.
7. Even one carefully hidden Monty Python reference built into the myths or politics of your world will be discovered by your players and cause your entire campaign to dissolve into awful British accents for a half hour, at least.
8. Handing out 127 pages of background material on the first night of a new campaign is the equivalent of handing each of your players a dead rat.
9. Pages of carefully prepared dialog to be delivered by a fully developed NPC can be invalidated by one fireball.
10. Give the party a map and they are good for the night.  Teach the party to map and you never have to futz about with grid paper again.

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