Jul 272009

Space aliens.  Lots of science fiction movies feature them and they always have something to tell us about how to handle inter-species relationships. From first contact to Merrill swinging, the movies have taught me a lot about dealing with aliens and how to survive in my surroundings should I encounter them.

  1. If you have a space ship with a cat on it and the cat freaks out, run. Don’t look back, just run to the escape pod and hit that big red button.
  2. If it glows, it’s good. If it drools, kill it with fire.
  3. If all of the aliens look like people with different colored skin and foam ridges glued on, you’re in the Star Trek universe.
  4. Conversely, if aliens immediately cause you to want to punch them in the face through cute overload, you’re in the Star Wars universe.
  5. The more techonologically advanced an alien race is, the more likely they are to be defeated by something incredibly stupid.  Like water, or a Mac.
  6. Also, these extremely advanced alien species will have spent most of their time destroying their own world(s) and needing to come to ours for natural resources.
  7. Aliens never abduct different alien races, only backwoods humans who are unlikely to have macs or drink water.
  8. Lots of aliens love to speak English, just with different accents so communication won’t be much of a problem. If it is, just use your Mac!
  9. If you do happen to be contacted by benevolant aliens seeking to better the human race in some way, no one will  believe you.
  10. Lots of alien architecture resembles that of some ancient human civilization because obviously they came here and influenced or contracted for the ancients.

[tags]aliens, scif[/tags]

Photo credit (CC licensed) Darren Hester.

About Ben

I'm a geek. A nerd, a dweeb, whatever. Yes I owned garb, yes I still own medieval weaponry. And yeah, I could kick your butt in Mechwarrior the CCG. I love video games, role playing games, tactical board games and all forms of speculative fiction. I will never berate someone for wanting to be a Jedi and take everything Gary Gygax ever wrote as gospel. Well, all of this but that last bit.

 Posted by on July 27, 2009

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.